On the eve of 2011, things were looking bleak. I had lost my fiance, home, and job. That was one way to look at it. I decided instead to reframe my experience - I was now free to do whatever I wanted. If I had nothing, then there was nothing to lose! Fireflies in the Room is the chronicle of my journey within, to know spirit, to know bliss, to know true happiness - which are all one and the same. Love. I've only had glimpses of it so far, but enough to know that it's worth the work. I'm stumbling about in the dark a bit, being present when I remember, filling my heart with love as best I can. The insights do come; sometimes swirling around me so fast that I'm carried away by the torrent, and other times not for so long that I think I'll die of dehydration.
Do I have all the answers? Not nearly. I understand a lot about psychology, self-esteem, spirituality, New Age-Ancient Wisdom, mind/body connection, emotional intelligence, etc. etc. - intellectually. The challenge for me lies in embodying that knowledge, feeling the truth of it, letting go of the ego and being conscious. To be frank, on level of feeling and being, a lot of it I just don't get. But I believe and trust that everything is perfect, that I will learn what I need to know in time and on time.
I made a pact with myself; I'm calling it my Summer Love Project. Beginning August 1, for one entire month, I am going to be present in all of my interactions; I am going to be love. I am going to fill my heart with love so that there is no room for impatience, irritation, frustration, anger, resentment, or any other negative emotions. A friend of mine tried it for one day, and she had some amazing breakthroughs. What might one whole month bring? If I forget or mess up or take something someone says personally - that's okay. Even if I only remember for 15 minutes a day, that's 105 minutes more per week, or almost eight hours more in the month, of being love than I was previously. I believe this will change my cells, rewire my neural pathways, and raise my vibrational field. I don't know what kind of difference that might make in my life, but in the spirit of exploration and adventure, I'm going to find out!
One night early in the summer I was lying in bed, depressed and unable to sleep. I turned over on to my back and looked up to see a firefly flitting about my room, lighting a halo around itself every few seconds. I laughed - what a great gift from the universe to cheer me up! Now I'm wishing for a whole roomful. Please join me in my Summer Love Project and comment or email me with your stories.
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."
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